Be your own cheerleader and banish the negativity

Do you have a tendency towards worry and anxiety? Don't worry (🙄 🤭 pun intended), you're not alone. Our brains have evolved to prioritise negative thinking. This is called the negativity bias and is described like this;

               "Negativity bias refers to our proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and

               use negative information far more than positive information”

                (Vaish, Grossmann, & Woodward, 2008)

We are basically programmed to be on high alert for and to track negative events so that we can use this information to stay safe and to remain included in our community. 

What this means is that we focus on and remember the negative events in a day and gloss over or tend to downplay the positive ones. In our minds this will look like repetitive thinking and rumination and in our bodies this feels like anxiety.

Our yoga and meditation practice teaches us to stay present to our moment by moment experience and so it has a big role to play in helping us to overcome anxiety and depression. It also helps us to regulate and tone our nervous system which is a two way conversation between our body and our brain.

If we are continually hyper aroused and looking for dangers, this will trigger shortness of breath and increased heart rate etc. which can add even more fuel to the anxious thinking.  The gift of yoga practice is that we learn how to consciously relax, especially under pressure.

I've shared before how my gratitude practice really changed things for me as well when it came to working with worry.  I'm now on the look out for all the wonderful things, both small and large that happen every day and before I go to sleep - which is a common time for us to start on a negativity spiral as we review our days - I make sure to write down as many things as I can that I'm grateful for in a gratitude journal.

I've just found another powerful way to short circuit the negativity bias when we start going down that path. It's really simple, basically you're giving yourself a pep talk. The key however is that you're talking to yourself in the third person.

So when you're preparing for something that is making you anxious or perhaps when you've been given some difficult news, you talk to yourself in the third person like you are your own personal cheerleader.

It can feel a little silly at first but it's worth trying. It might sound something like this, using your name of course; 

• Hey Janine, you have worked hard to prepare for this meeting and you're going to nail it.

• Or like this; Listen Janine, this isn't the news we were hoping for but we will get through this together, remember how well you handled _______last time. Just look at all the people who want to help.

• Or this; What if this is all working out for the best Janine and you just can't see it yet?

I like to imagine this is my Higher Self talking to me, a part of me that has more wisdom and perspective than I do and who always has my back.

Bonus tip +

What if?   is a really powerful re-frame you can add to your tool kit as well. If you have a repeating thought that gives you anxiety about something in the future, ask yourself a what if question like the one above. It resets you thinking process and you start looking for new creative ways of solving problems and working through difficulties.

Let me know if this helps you when things are getting rough.